I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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