Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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