it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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