I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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