can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
