After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
