You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
