she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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