oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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