Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
