and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Randomize
