i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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