Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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