Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
if only i could text you this smell
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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