I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
either way he was missing a nipple.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
