There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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