and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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