He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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