But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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