Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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