Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
