omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize