the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
