Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
