I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
