My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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