If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
