we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
