so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
