Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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