we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
