I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
