K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
