i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
