He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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