so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
