Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
