He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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