he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
