I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I am naked and annoyed.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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