Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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