I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
