You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
