this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
