You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
