True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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