He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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