I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
