? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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