I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
God I need to hump something, right now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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