420 ftw
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
