Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
