Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
