if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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