I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
