would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
