you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Jerry, you need to find god
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
