I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize