Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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