So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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