And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
