would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
