she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
