I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
