it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
